Alice in Hollywoodland: Tales of a Would-Be Starlet

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Your costar invites you to a party in the Hills as a friend. You later find out it was with the motive of making his ex jealous. She’s stunning, an Italian Rosario Dawson with Angelina’s jawline. You go out for the same roles—in fact, you booked the role you both auditioned for…
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The first man you ever sleep with is an Abercrombie & Fitch model. You don’t have sex. But you sleep. Well, he sleeps. It’s almost dawn and you’ve barely slept a wink. His swagger is the first thing you notice about him, limbs drawling like Western twang. He crosses your…
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“Can we pretend we’re broken up?” you ask. He doesn’t even look up from his phone. You scoot across the duct-taped seat of a curve-cornered dining booth inside a red and green American restaurant, resting your chin on his flannel-covered shoulder. “Babe?” you whisper.
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You are furious. Livid. Sick from the betrayal of eternities you thought were yours. God leaves. Your love leaves. You learn the ones who promise forever are the ones you should never trust— better to trust those who wear reality on their bloody sleeves, noses wiped from a…
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You didn’t plan to stop going to church when you moved to LA. It’s just that you’re genuinely concerned for your spiritual health. You’d rather isolate…
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It’s spring. The sun has melted your body oil into the vintage towel atop the bedroom quilt you spread over the granular flat top of your Art Deco roof…
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She kisses your boyfriend on his lips in front of you. This happens in her skyscraper office with a Manhattan view. She’s careful to make it quick—a…
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Trashy. You didn’t expect that to be your first impression of Tinseltown, but here you are on the star-studded sidewalk that is smeared with feces stuck…
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You know you shouldn’t take this job. You keep turning it down—another teen sex comedy on your resume?—but the offer keeps going up. When it reaches…
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On your ‘04 Christmas back home, you meet two girlfriends from youth group at a TGI Friday’s. They debate if you’ll be able to buy moisturizer when…
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You go home for Christmas after two years in LA. The mountain air hits you like walking into a Dyson purifier, so fresh it’d be sterile if it weren’t…
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You are a virgin, shaken and stirred. The subtle world can sense it, the potency of your desire, the innocence of your tease, the pulse of your blood…
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Alice in Hollywoodland: Tales of a Would-Be Starlet

Memoirettes on womanhood and shifts of culture through the scandalous lens of Hollywood nostalgia.

Alice in Hollywoodland: Tales of a Would-Be Starlet

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© 2022 Alice Greczyn
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