Alice in Hollywoodland: Tales of a Would-Be Starlet

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“Can we pretend we’re broken up?” you ask. He doesn’t even look up from his phone. You scoot across the duct-taped seat of a curve-cornered dining booth…
Alice Greczyn
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You are furious. Livid. Sick from the betrayal of eternities you thought were yours. God leaves. Your love leaves. You learn the ones who promise…
Alice Greczyn
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The first man you ever sleep with is an Abercrombie & Fitch model. You don’t have sex. But you sleep. Well, he sleeps. It’s almost dawn and you’ve…
Alice Greczyn
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She kisses your boyfriend on his lips in front of you. This happens in her skyscraper office with a Manhattan view. She’s careful to make it quick—a…
Alice Greczyn
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Trashy. You didn’t expect that to be your first impression of Tinseltown, but here you are on the star-studded sidewalk that is smeared with feces stuck…
Alice Greczyn
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It’s spring. The sun has melted your body oil into the vintage towel atop the bedroom quilt you spread over the granular flat top of your Art Deco roof…
Alice Greczyn
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Your costar invites you to a party in the Hills as a friend. You later find out it was with the motive of making his ex jealous. She’s stunning, an…
Alice Greczyn
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You know you shouldn’t take this job. You keep turning it down—another teen sex comedy on your resume?—but the offer keeps going up. When it reaches…
Alice Greczyn
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You didn’t plan to stop going to church when you moved to LA. It’s just that you’re genuinely concerned for your spiritual health. You’d rather isolate…
Alice Greczyn
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On your ‘04 Christmas back home, you meet two girlfriends from youth group at a TGI Friday’s. They debate if you’ll be able to buy moisturizer when…
Alice Greczyn
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Your roommate is never home. She comes to Burbank for pilot season and the occasional weekend, so you have the two-bedroom apartment on Pass Avenue to…
Alice Greczyn
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You are a virgin, shaken and stirred. The subtle world can sense it, the potency of your desire, the innocence of your tease, the pulse of your blood…
Alice Greczyn
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